I see the days passing by, every morning as boring as the one before and I can't stop my self from revisiting the days when I had nothing to do and from that occupational discomfort I started gaining weight due to the fact that my first thought when I woke up was 'what shall I eat now?'
It is quite disturbing knowing that for 6 years - going for 7th, I have been gaining and loosing 14 pounds - 7 kg on average from winter to sumer again and again. I do not know what is the matter!
After year 4 I did identify the problem fully and I just observed myself that during the months of October and November I tend to eat more than usual due to stress and actually bad mood.
So on the next year (year 5 - 2009) I started weekly exercising on a weekly basis from 1 to 2 times a week - for the period October to December I might have missed 1 week at most. So the problem arose when instead of gaining the pounds from january as was custom in years 1 through 4 I began to gain weight in april and by march (i recall my best friend's birthday) I was in full scale of my overweightness....
So I ask you - what is my problem?
Well through informal psychotherapy with my friends I need a new job, my own apartment and to get the hell out of my house and family because my concern and anxieties for them are irrational and choking me without any chance to breathe.
How is that an explanation?
I am so tired...
So tired of thinking of all of this...
I wish I had a place to stay for a while to figure it out...
