Small opinions gathered make a person exist

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Loneliness - not always depressing?

I am alone. I did come to terms with it. I kept discussing with my friends how well aware I am of my consciousness and my self. How I am ok with who I am, mostly because I never had a relationship and was driven to find comfort in being single and by myself a lot. Now in the thought of somebody reading this makes me feeling embarrassed. Why should I be embarrassed because I feel lonely? Everyone is alone. This is what you can be 100% certain in your life. You are always alone, even with company. So when first in hand with this truth I tried to see my fears of being alone as a fear I have to accept to live with.
But we are all alone in our lives. And in that we are the same!No need to distinguish ourselves out of the whole as I did all this time. I felt inferior and less of a person because, I think, I could see all my faults and couldn't acknowledge my insecurities. There's this passage from Paulo Coehlo's book Brida that once I read it I saw through myself!

Brida was different. Her prayer had deeply touched the Magus’s soul. She had understood that no human being who has walked this planet was or is different from the others. Few people were capable of saying out loud that the great Teachers from the past had the same qualities and the same defects as all men, and that this in no way diminished their ability to search for God.

Judging oneself to be inferior to other people was one of the worst acts of pride he knew, because it was the most destructive way of being different.’

It helped me so much. This past year I kept evolving my character by bulging into reality with work, with all the problems and ridiculousness of it all. I began to take things less seriously and just get over it. Two quotes serve me here:

'If it wasn't this, it would have been something else'
'Get over it, there are worse problems in the world'

I was always a more realistic person concerning romance but in secret I longed for it. Of course no reality obliged and came to realize what a fool we all are. Romance does not come from the perfection of situations and actions but from the imperfections and funny awkward moments of relationships. Of feeling embarrassed and seeing understanding of the quote of we are not different from each other. The simplicity just banged on my head and I laughed my heart out. How come no-one has discovered that yet?